There have been certain issues that I've noticed about my life since coming out this past November. Don't get me wrong, there are more pros, but there has been some cons as well. I was talking with my other "church going" crowd and they agreed with me - churches always have the most drama.
The Cons:
Some of the cons I can clearly see is how quickly everyone I was close to changed whenever they were around me. I know that things like this take some time and I'm not impatient about that, it's the fact that everyone is discreet about it. I know that there's an underlining attitude towards me and I just want everyone to stop denying it and just be normal. To be honest, I'm getting very tired and worn out with everyone's outlook or perspective on how I should be living me life. You don't see me pointing my fingers at you guys so I'm a little confused as why everyone has pointed theirs at me, as well as turn their backs. I know that Christians are the worse hypocrites, but I remember growing up knowing that Christianity is about compassion, not judgement. I don't think it's fair that you guys kicked me out of the youth group. This upsets me because I thought you guys were my friends. With exception of like 3 of you, I really don't what to say to you all. I'm just like...blah...I want to say I care, but at this point, I really don't. All I can think of, is unlike you, I haven't turned my back on you...you were the ones that turned your backs on me.
I think it's quite funny because our [group] has a lot of secrets that everyone already knows, so why just confess and just tell that person to his/her face. I personally don't like hearing someone else's drama/gossip. I don't think it's fair or mature to just talk about someone as if they don't have feelings. This has been an ongoing problem for a while now, and it's been on my mind a lot. The point is, I'm usually the listener. I listen to what others have to say in hopes that it's just "venting" aggravating annoyances, but I'm wrong most of the time. It's just cold hard gossip that really makes me upset. It saddens me more, but mainly upsets me. We're adults - not agroup of high school girls competing for attention from the "sexy quarterback". haha I'm tired of everyone's drama, everyone's gossip...everyone's attitudes. We're all in our 20's so let's be the grown-up adults we're supposed to be and get other and better things to do. We're not young adults anymore, it was okay then...we're older and better than that. Don't you think? But as for everyone else that made me feel comfortable, made David and myself feel comfortable for the remainder of our stay in Dallas - THANK YOU. It wouldn't be what it is now if it weren't for you.
I just really wanted to get the cons off my chest because by the looks of my pictures, blogs, messages, etc....I'm pretty sure it's obvious what the Pros are about me coming out. All I can say, is that I'm genuinely happy. I still love all of you, but sometimes my heart hurts when I don't think it should. I'm just tired of it. I just wish it was the way it used to be...unless it's been like this all this time, and I'm just now piecing it all together. So now that all this energy is off my chest, I feel much better.
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