Here's To Me, Ya'll.

Hm, one thing I forgot that I loved is chocolate-covered raisins. Sitting here in front of me, is a rectangular shaped ceramic dish with handfuls of them. I quickly thought "don't, it's the beginning of the new year" but I threw that out the window considering I have one more day. Wow...so good.

Time literally seems to be moving a lot quicker than I have ever seen it move. It seems like yesterday I was decorating my tree in Washington Heights and planning my 2007 resolution(s) and getting everything ready for school that would start mid-year. With 2008 only a day away, I keep thinking I have all this "time" to do whatever I want, when in reality, I don't have time for anything or to do anything for that matter. But yesterday was nice because even though I was super busy, I got to hang out with people I really enjoy spending time with. It was nice to just relax and swap stories over dinner and plan our next outing and talk about random things. It makes me wonder, if I'm having all this fun now..I wonder what will come in 2008? We were talking about what has 2007 brought us and if we have accomplished anything planned or unexpected and that was a good question. I know there's the obvious, which is we all got into FIT and survived the first semester, but what really have I accomplished in 2007?

Well I'd like to go back and pull through my brain to see what I can find. I was still in a relationship then and even though it was a roller-coaster ride relationship, I had that luxury of calling him "baby" and going on "mini-dates" and taking advantage of as much personal time as possible. Now, being single has made me step outside "the love box" and ask myself what really makes a relationship work? Do you follow your heart? Do you go by the stars and signs or go with what your friends think? Parents? I don't know, but I think that 2007's relationship has made me grateful for what I'm capable of doing. Especially when it involves another human. Another year, another relationship. Wrong. 2008 is all about me and starting over. Learning from my mistakes, growing from my past and just enjoying me. I'm not here to please someone else (chris get your mind out of the gutter! lol) and we all know I've been straddling the fence with fine arts/fashion illustration so this year will be about me and me trying to find out what I really want to do at FIT. Well, where my talent really lies.

But 2007 has also been kind and introduced new friendships and memories that I can't let go unnoticed. I've been an endless bond with girls and boys at FIT which is the best feeling in the world. Friends you can fight with and go out for coffee the next hour with, or girls who I can just curl their hair "just because". I enjoy that feeling of being called up just to know if she should go with "the wedge or the heel". Always the heel...always. Boy talk is something that I've wanted to have for a long time. Coming out of a 3 year relationship with someone and being so young, I missed out on the guy talk that seems to be crucial in my sub-culture. I never had guy friends that we could just talk and "gossip" so-to-speak on their encounter with the cutie on the 2 train. haha. I can step back and cross that off my list of things to accomplish in 2007.

So overall I had a crazy year, but I'm thankful for everything and everyone that has left their fingerprints on my year making me who I am today. 2008 is going to be big and better. I have a surprise for everyone next semester (which is the kickoff for my year that's for sure) and I can't wait to see everyone.

Someone asked me what is my New Year's resolution, and sure I can work out eat a salad, but this year is all about me and me trying something new. Going vegetarian or organic or switching milks or going somewhere where I would never see myself going. Maybe even dating?!? Or try something I would never ever eat or be adventurous and do something scandalous. lol Not sure, but I'm ready for a new style, new friends, new encounters and above all I'm ready to start a new year. ::shakes head::

Here's to me ya'll.

The Day Before.

Crazy.

I don't even know where to begin. Has it really been another year? I could've sworn I was sitting in Apt #835 looking out the window from the window in my living room imagining what life would be like a year from then. I applied for Fine Arts too early, so I wasn't looking forward to doing nothing for a year in New York City. I was job searching I know that much, and my New Year's Resolution was to A.) Lose weight and B.) Get a job. I succeeded with both. Weighing at 146.5, you could tell in my face that I was over-weight and being jobless with nothing but a dog and boyfriend to tend to, could drive any man crazy. Now, being Christmas Eve, I look back at the "Fat-Shots" I have and proud to say that I weigh 127.5(ish) close to 128 lbs. I look and feel great, and I have some serious toning to do, but at least the pounds are gone. Now as for my job, I ended getting my job at starbucks (as you all know by now because you party animals frequently see me leave the dorms at 4:30AM when you guys are just getting home from your fun) January 25, 2006 so I also achieved the "job-hunt" by getting a job before the end of January. So now I have held that job for almost a year and that too, feels great. A little stressful at times, because I'm in the process of becoming a shift (which doesn't mean more authority, but more responsibility) and let me just tell you, even though it's just starbucks, we get some crazy-ass people - especially in New York.

So another year, another Christmas. I remember last year, it was a wild time in my life. I might have been the cause of a ruined Christmas and an awkward New Year's. I don't want to say I was immature - maybe I was and didn't know it. I tried to fix things that I wasn't sure could be fixed to begin with. In my head, it was all about making sure the apartment had the lingering scent of pumpkin spice, Christmas music was playing in the background, and that each present I purchased was wrapped and placed perfectly under the tree as if Martha Stewart placed it there herself. Wow. I don't know what I was thinking then. Life was a bubble, or maybe I masked my life so intensely that I wasn't noticing how I was living my life. Sure, reading this you're probably thinking, "what sounds so bad about that?" but there's so many gaps I'm leaving out because it hurts to write about the details. I just know that this time last year, was not a good time for me. Or him. I feel constant guilt, maybe because I knew I was part guilty of things I said and things I did. Maybe because it's Christmas and it's my first Christmas alone. Not sure. I'm not going to bash anyone, or throw a pity party for myself because I'm alone for Christmas this year, instead I'm honoring the good memories, the good feelings and the fact that I've been given a handful of friends to start my new life with. That's what Christmas is all about. I'm sorry for anything I did but at the same time, I'm thankful that it all happened for I am who I am today because of it. Through the tears and laughter and everything in between, I can finally sit back and just center myself and you want to know a secret? I am enjoying this alone time. No worries, no stress, no drama...no nothing. :)

I'm starting to become humble with my life, and what's been thrown at me. I've even had my share of fun, because when life throws lemons at you, you know I grabbed some silver patron and partied it up the only way I know how. I'm young, I'm alive and I have some really exciting paths coming my way at FIT. With the semester coming up at the end of January, I'm going to have a jam-packed schedule, on top of my work schedule, which means that I will have zero social life. I'll find a way. I always do.

Being so far from home has made me evolve into someone I never thought I could become. I've experienced things that I was totally against in the past, and I've definitely had this attitude now where life is too short to think about the future and worry about the "what-ifs". I know that I'm my own mentor, my own friend and at times, my own lover lol. I'm the only one who knows everything that sets me off, turns me on and gets things done. I AM ME has been playing on my iPod for the past couple weeks. Mainly because, well let's face it, Ashlee Simpson's second cd was good. That's some good shit. lol ::shakes head:: Wow I'm weird.

Mmm..cinnamon-raison bagels are calling my name and then a little nap would be great. Lord knows I'm about 3 days behind on my sleeping schedule so for Christmas, I would like to get caught up. That and Prada slip-ons would be nice. Where is my sugar-daddy when I need him??

Merry Christmas everyone and please have a wonderful Christmas and a killer New Year's and I look forward to seeing you all next semester. Let's do lunch or coffee when I get back and catch up?! Deal?

Ciao!

Do I have words to describe how I feel?

So it's been a wild semester.

The good news, is that I've only wanted to throw up the white flag maybe once...okay twice. My color theory homework was a drag, so many "mini-assignments" that take forever...2 oil paintings 20x30 turned in by today, 3D sculptures, 3D cut outs. Lots of sketches and "reviews". 3 finals - 2 down, one more today. And still trying to keep my social life. I've met so many people. So many friends, so many personalities. I've made so many memories and they just don't stop.

I must admit I'm a little homesick. It was very nice to be home over Thanksgiving break, and as much as I loved spending time with my friends, I would've enjoyed spending more time with my Aunt and Uncle and two cousins. My birthday was amazing, and thank you to all that left me those comments, it was nice to sign on the next day with "50-something notifications". Come on, you all enjoy getting them. :) It was just nice to get away from the city. The city has made me evolve into someone I'm sure about. I've lived her for almost 3 years and it's definitely made me a stronger person. I knew all along that I was a city boy. I've always looked at my life like the story mom would read me about the country mouse and the city mouse...I was the city mouse, hands down.

So I saw David the other day and I amost forgot the feelings he gives me. He reminded me that it's almost been 3 months, and I usually am good with dates because you all know I live my life through my planner, but I guess I've been so busy I lost track of time. It almost slipped away, and not that that is a bad thing but it was just weird to think that I forgot something so important. It's good that I've gone through so much just within these 6 months..I've even had to share my "situations" with others to help them and that is such a good feeling. That feeling of accomplishment and the attitude of, "Hey! I'm still here! I'm still alive and life has moved on!" I've also noticed that meeting all these people, girls and boys of all ages, that I'm starting to surround myself with people that really catch my interest. I'm getting aggitated with people who basically wear masks and here at FIT that's pretty common. The truth is that I'm only sinched at the waist with people who have the same interest of drawing or mohawks - Nothing else. At least in my book.

Well all my hard work has paid off because I'm still managing to work part time at starbucks and being a full-time student is no walk in the park. Next semester only gets harder from here. I'm adding a few more courses and I'll be going to school Monday-Friday and still managing to work a full "part-time" schedule. To be honest, I'm pumped. I can't wait to get more advanced and to sharpen my talent in everything fine arts. I put myself in a different block so I could broaden my classmates so I can see other styles, other personalities and other professors. I can't wait, that's all I have to say.

So how do I have words to describe how I feel? Well hopefully I just did.

Why I love Nina Azzarello.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Don't Procrastinate

If I could offer you once piece of advice, it would be this: Don’t procrastinate.

Stop staying up until some unreasonable hour, say 3:00 in the morning, writing a paper due the following day. Tell yourself you’ll never be so foolish again. Even though next Sunday night, you can bet that you’ll procrastinate ‘till 4.

Party on weeknights. Hey, you only live once. Convince your friends they’ll wake up fine for their 8:00 in the morning classes.

Resist the urge to take a nap in your 8:00 in the morning classes. If you do, you’ll want to position your head directly behind the persons in front of you. Nestle your forehead in the palm of your hand. Pretend like your simply trying to scratch that uncontrollable itch on the top of your head. If you manage to wake up without a stiff neck, tell me how.

Pay attention in Art History. Actually, never mind. Don’t.

Try not to get distracted in your computer class. It’s an incredible feat if you manage to get through it without logging into your facebook at least 4 times.

Get a facebook to make college friends. Delete your myspace if you want to get rid of your high school ones. Understand that picture comments are not as important as you think. Don’t get too excited when a 22-year-old male model from the south of France requests you to be his friend. Learn, through experience, that his name is actually Harold; he’s 57, feeds of raspberry glazed Krispy Kreemes and walks in the nude at least 6 hours out of the day.

Eat Krispy Kreeme doughnuts. They’re orgasmic. If you find any other food nearly as heavenly, buy me some.

Don’t think about heaven or hell too much. Heaven knows, there’s no way in hell we’ll ever really know what’s out there.

Think about alien life. Tell people you’ve seen a UFO. It makes for an interesting story.

Be a storyteller. Write about the time your haircutters eyebrows were burned off in some freak Ramen noodle microwave accident.

Don’t be afraid to cut your hair. Don’t cry when you decide to cut it. Sure, the hair flip is quite possibly the woman’s most powerful tool. But never underestimate the power of the Victoria Beckham bob.

Hate Victoria Beckham for getting to David before you did. Understand that David Beckham is an egotistical jerk.

Sing to the Spice Girls like its 1999.

Spice up your life by eating chips and salsa. Put on a sombrero while doing so. You’ll feel exotic.

Learn to speak Spanish. It’s useful. Eat Spanish food. It’s tasty. Date Spanish men. They’re tasty too.

The Spanish word for boy is “esse.” Use it all the time, in every context, in every sentence just because it sounds kinda funny.

Write an entire essay about nothing particularly important with topics ranging from alien life to David Beckham. Realize that this essay might just be the most productive, outstanding results your procrastinating.

-Nina Azzarello